"She wears Macy's, I wear Loehmans"

"She wears Macy's I wear Loehmans. She wears Filenes, I wear Filene's Basement. Can't you see-ee-ee, she's just a J.-A.-P. (not Japanese)"



Gwyneth Paltrow, the newest member of the country music world, was a guest on SNL a few weeks ago.  She participated in a skit about over-the-top Bar Mitzvah party entertainment, a phenomenon worthy of satire. In this case, a family member who is big macher in the music industry hired a number of stars to do Bar Mitzvah themed versions of their songs.  Paltrow did an impression of Taylor Swift singing "You Belong to Me", but rather than a cheerleader, the other girl is a J.A.P.

I am neither offended by Paltrow poking fun of Taylor, as are some of her fans who take everything Taylor very seriously, nor of SNL using the term J.A.P. Of the songs in the skit, Paltrow's is the only one I find even remotely funny and quite frankly, I was left wanting another verse. There are so many other J.A.P. typical qualities they could have used.  Straightened hair immediately comes to mind. That would have been a slam dunk. Fear of the outdoors and whining about the heat are two more.

If you're thinking of leaving a horrified comment, please do, but give this some thought first. If a woman is truly a J.A.P. she's ignoring me completely.

My other comment is about SNL devoting such a long skit to the Bar Mitzvah party. Only 2% of the U.S. population is Jewish, and although our Bar Mitzvah party guest lists usually include non-Jewish friends and family, I'd be surprised if more than 5-10% of the U.S. population has ever been to a Bar Mitzvah. Who is getting all of the rather weak inside jokes in this skit?

As a side note, if you've watched the whole video, I agree with the boy. A modest luncheon is a very haimish way to celebrate a Bar Mitzvah.